Sarah vs The Song
by David Carner
Summary: Takes place after Fake Name. Sarah has to sit out of a mission, and left along with the radio, she thinks about Chuck. This is NOT fluff. I swear. I had to know if I could write angst.


A/N: This takes place after Fake Name. I really don't like this fic, but it won't leave my head since I heard the song, and I don't know what else to do but write it. It's not going to end good, I've never done this, and I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck, and this will teach me to listen to a random playlist while I walk.

* * *

She looked over at him, and he did it again. He licked his lips, he needed to stop doing that, or he was going to chap them. It had been hell the last three days, ever since he overheard her tell Shaw her name. No, stop that, you don't feel that for him. He never gets to hurt you again. He is a friend, and a coworker, besides, you're with Shaw now. She saw him lick his lips again. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. She glanced at him rubbing his hands on his pants, they were sweating.

"Hey, you're gonna be fine," she said softly. He looked at her and nodded, but there was nothing in it. He had that look for days now. It killed her inside, but it was for the best because they could now both move on. He could go be the spy he wanted to be. The one she made. The greatest guy she had ever met and she had ruined and broke him. Didn't he understand why they couldn't be together. He had her heart in his hands, she was so broken, she was leading him down the path to being the same broken person she was. She so wished she had known him as a kid. Part of her heart soared with that thought. They could have gone to college together, have a house, the one she had never told anyone about, but that wasn't ever going to happen because her one shot at true happiness was giving it all up to be a spy.

Daniel was driving her crazy, and not in a good way. He was good looking, safe, but he wasn't melting her like the guy she had barely shared a handful of kisses with. However, he was determined that Chuck become the spy he could, and part of her hated him for it, but she understood. Tonight the mission was for Sarah to be the driver and Chuck and Casey to infiltrate, flash, and get out. Chuck had to try and do this with Casey. Why? She had no idea, but Daniel was the lead agent. She pulled up to where she was supposed to be and stopped the car.

"Mike off, Walker," Casey said, rolling his eyes. "I think it's stupid but let's make your new boytoy happy." Chuck visibly stiffened with that. Casey looked at Sarah and then at Chuck. He shook his head, and mumbled something about idiots and got out of the car.

"Hey," she said softly, and Chuck looked over at her. "You got this," she said with a smile. Chuck gave her a sad smile, nodded, started to get out of the car, but paused.

"Sarah," he said, just as softly. "I'm glad you found someone, you should never be alone. You deserve happiness." She couldn't say anything and he understood. He got out of the car, and she sat back in the seat. She looked down at the mix tape he had left. No, there was no way in hell she was playing that. She messed with the radio, and apparently it was broken. Only one station would come on, so she turned it on, softly. The DJs voice came over the radio.

"This one goes out to all those who've made foolish choices and just wants one more chance," the DJ said. Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor came on, and she hummed along. The lyrics began and she looked at the radio. Damn it. It hadn't been fifteen days, it had been much longer than that, but it still hurt. She tried to tune out the lyrics but, _Since you been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose_ , slammed into her like a sledgehammer. She felt her throat close up and a tear slid down her cheek. Okay, fine, she loved him. She loved him and she missed whatever crazy relationship they had like crazy. It was killing her to see him change, but she couldn't be with him, not like that. Not when she made him like that.

 _I said nothing can take away these blues 'Cause nothing compare Nothing compares to you_ , made her look at the radio again.

"You can say that, sister," she muttered. She listened to the set of lyrics thinking about how many different ways she had compared Daniel to Chuck. Daniel didn't compare. It wasn't love between them, it was spy safe is what it was. But that's what she needed because spies couldn't show their emotions. Her jaw trembled as she listened, and then she heard herself singing the next line, _Tell me baby, where did I go wrong_. Tears flowed down her eyes and they continued as the next line talked about how every boy she saw reminded her of him.

She wiped away the tears and nodded when the lyric about the doctor telling her to have fun. "That's what I'm doing now, I'm having fun," she said out loud. "Oh, who the hell am I trying to kid," she growled. Tears flowed as the chorus came on again and Sarah began to wonder, was she doing the right thing? Should she try and work it out with Chuck? Could she work it out with Chuck? She was on the verge when the line _But I'm willing to give it another try_ , came through and Prague filled her mind. The rage, the pain, the hurt, it all coursed through her.

"NO!" she screamed. "NO, you do not get to hurt me again!" she yelled, tears falling off of her face. No one had hurt her like that. Not her father, not her mother, not Bryce, not Langston, not any of the tortures that she had been through in the CIA. And her Chuck, her perfect Chuck had. And then it hit her like a ton of bricks, he wasn't perfect. He had messed up. Well, maybe he actually hadn't. She did have to admit parts of her plan were a little lacking, like being on the run for the rest of her life. While she had no problem with that, Chuck, he couldn't. She took a deep breath. She should have talked to him, she should have listened, but he had moved on, and she was moving on, besides, he would be a spy. The chorus continued to play and she saw them moving quickly back to the car. She started it, and locked eyes with Chuck. He saw her eyes, said something to Casey, and Chuck got in the back door.

"Everything all right?" she asked.

"Yep, Chuck flashed like a pro," he said.

"Oh," she said, disappointment in her. Part of her secretly hoping that he wouldn't, because of her. She knew better than to, but she looked up and saw his eyes in the review mirror. He swallowed thickly, and she barely gave a head nod. She put the car in gear and they took off. Casey glanced from one to the other, thought about saying something but changed his mind. "Nothing compares, 2 U," she sang softly to herself where neither could hear her.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry. Feel free to tell me how much you hate it.

DC


End file.
